(no subject)

Stole this from aerynstales, thought it looked amoosing.

1. Ask me about the title of any of my fics and I'll tell you how it came to be.

2. You may ask me one question (and I mean one per person!) about anything going on in any of my fics and I'll answer it.

( A list of titles and synopses, for your viewing pleasure. )

inexpressibly awesome

Things I'm Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

Some of my personal favorites:

• Singing "Wild Thing, you make my heart sing" whenever you see Professor Lupin is not allowed, even though he likes it.
  
• The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
  
• The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters.
  
• Professor Moriarty does not teach at Hogwarts. (Anyone else smell a fanfic idea?)
  
• The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on the new moon.
  
• Madame Hooch's name is just that, a name. Will not ask her to share.
  
• Not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
  
• Calling Professor Flitwick "Willow" and asking him about Madmartigan is not an appropriate question for classtime.
  
• I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".
  
• Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy."
  
• There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
  
• "Rolling a natural 20 on my Charisma check" does NOT entitle me to sleep with any of the Hogwarts professors.
  
• Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.
  
• Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums". Neither does he respond favourably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie".
  
• It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.
  
• Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.
  
• Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.
  
• Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.