Things I Have Learned As Church Secretary

An incomplete list.

• The copier will always jam when I am in a hurry. No exceptions.
  
• Slate is very heavy and I WILL hurt my back if I lift too much at once.
  
• Pastor loves me even when he's in a rotten mood.
  
• Going on vacation is crucial for the maintenance of even my tenuous sanity.
  
• If I volunteer for too much, my life will be threatened.
  
• I can never have too many postage stamps.
  
• Consuming more than two cans of soda before noon is not a good idea, but sometimes it's necessary.
  
• People will blame me for things that aren't my fault. I must accept this.
  
• I have complete job security, because nobody else is crazy enough to take this job and I am therefore irreplacable.
  
• Unfortunately, they can't afford to pay me what I'm actually worth, so they do sometimes worry that I might get a better job someplace else.
  
• It infuriates my enemies when I smile and sing at my desk.
  
• Miracles happen once in a while...but not without help.

[joke] In other news, because of the financial situation, I've been asked to take a voluntary pay reduction. They've decided it will be more cost effective to pay me in magic beans and shiny buttons. [/joke]

Gobo! Red! Boober! Mokey! Wembley!

Fraggle Rock: The Movie


aslkdjoaskdjgowiejoiwejrgmj How did I not know about this?