Writer's Block: Theme Song

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Depends just a bit on my mood. But I'm kind of inclined toward one of two in general: "Citizen/Soldier" by 3 Doors Down, or..."Rainbow Connection" by Kermit the Frog.

Not Always Right just keeps getting funnier

Jurassic Farce

Customer: “I need some help locating the item that this coupon advertises. I’ve looked everywhere and just can’t find it.”

Me: “Let’s see if I can help you here…” *looks at the coupon* “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t sell this item anymore.”

Customer: “Why not? I have a coupon for it. I wanted to get it for my husband for his birthday next week.”

Me: “Ma’am, this coupon was expired fifteen years ago. They no longer make this product.”

Customer: “Can’t you go look for one? I really need it, it would be perfect for him.”

Me: “…sure! It just so happens that I developed a machine that can warp the space/time continuum. Would you like to accompany me on the trip or would you like to stay here?”

Customer: “REALLY? Thank you so much! I’ll stay here and wait for you.”

(I go into the back room for a couple of minutes to let my manager know what I’m about to do, then come back out running.)

Me: “MA’AM! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! I MESSED UP AND WENT BACK TOO FAR! I ENDED UP GOING BACK TO THE AGE OF THE DINOSAURS AND THERE’S A PISSED-OFF VELOCIRAPTOR RIGHT BEHIND ME!”

Customer: “OH NO! I’LL GO CALL THE POLICE!” *runs out of the store*

(I went back to my manager after the customer ran off, and he was literally rolling on the ground laughing.)

Missing teenager alert

Neil Gaiman posted this on his Twitter this afternoon, and requested that his readers pass on the information. It's a damn good cause, so here I go.

The 14-year-old niece of Frank Frisina, who is a creator on the webcomic "Life's a Bluff," has been missing since Friday night. There is no reason to think she's run away, she took nothing with her, and her status is officially 'missing.' Her uncle, who is her legal guardian, is utterly heartsick.

This is, of course, being posted on Amber Alert and all those good things, but I try to help where I can. Details on the situation, including photographs of the girl (pretty child), can be found here:
http://lifesabluff.com/2009/04/15/my-14yr-old-neice-is-missing

UPDATE: She's been found and is home safe. Thanks, kobrin, for the update!