ladynorbert | funny things from my mother

Perspective On Sanity

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?"

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."

"Noooooo," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

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Have It Your Way

He wanted a truck and she wanted a fast little sports car so she could zip through traffic around town.
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. "Look!" she said, "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. My birthday is coming up, so surprise me!"
He did just that.
For her birthday he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Nobody has seen or heard from him since.

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College Paper

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.

The instructions stated that the story had to contain the following three things:

(1) Religion
(2) Sexuality
(3) Mystery.

There was only one A+ paper in the entire class. Below is the A+ short story in its entirety:

Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it.